How to turn your life around aka from homelessness to success with Dr Robb Kelly - Success Inspired

Episode 64

How to turn your life around aka from homelessness to success with Dr Robb Kelly

My guest today is a world renowned addiction expert who believes addiction is a thinking problem not a drinking problem or using problem. He has helped over 6,000 people ranging from celebrities to everyday people who want to live in sustained sobriety and recovery.

Links:

Highlights:

  • [00:00:57] The roots of Robb's alcoholism problem
  • [00:02:30] When Robb stabbed his wife over vodka
  • [00:05:18] Losing family and Robb's journey to homelessness
  • [00:13:41] Robb's past playing at Abbey Road with all the famous musicians
  • [00:16:08] So how did Robb turn his life around ?
  • [00:21:02] Power of positive psychology and conscious decision to achieve greater things in life
  • [00:24:31] Everybody is capable of achieving more in life
  • [00:38:33] Story about Robert Downey Jr
  • [00:48:15] 3 Take away point

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Transcript
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Welcome to the Success Inspired Podcast, a business and personal development

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podcast to help you accomplish more in life and realize your true potential.

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And now here is your host Vit Muller

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Hello everybody, welcome to another episode on a Success Inspired Podcast.

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My guest today is a world renowned addiction expert who believes

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addiction is a thinking problem not a drinking problem or using problem.

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He has helped over 6,000 people ranging from celebrities to

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everyday people who want to live in sustained sobriety and recovery.

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Please.

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Welcome to the show Dr.

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Rob Kelly.

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Thank you Vit, good to be here.

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Absolutely great to be here.

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Great to have you on the show, mate.

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So eventually you should a little bit, but what's something that a

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lot of people don't know about.

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well, they call me the addiction doctor because I specialize in addiction.

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I started drinking at the age of nine and I have a chronic alcohol problem.

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I've not drank for some time now, but yeah, it ruined my life.

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Really my children's life.

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and you know, the ups and downs of alcohol.

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I took my first drink at the age of nine on stage with my musical family

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and the, you know, the stories are horrendous leading to homelessness

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and then back to where I am today.

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So the journey has been wild, absolutely wild.

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And my book goes into that.

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It's like a lows of the lows, highs of the highs then back lows of the lows

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again, and then I ended up here so.

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I'm in San Antonio, Texas.

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Although I'm originally from Manchester United Kingdom.

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I've been in Texas for about 14 years now.

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And I love me some Texas.

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So what led to that?

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I mean, musical family, was it, was it the surrounding, like you said,

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started drinking at nine years old,

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I've started drinking at nine.

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My uncle gave me a beer, between sets one and two and, . I took them.

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the beer and wow!

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It was just amazing.

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Made me feel good.

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And it gave me loads of confidence.

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So, every time we played Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I would, I would

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start drinking and it was just, you know, probably half a glass of beer.

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That's all.

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But it was enough to get me rocking and rolling and, you

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know, having a great time.

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So that's why I did, I wasn't drinking alcoholically then alcohol was working

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for me throughout many, many years, including high school and college.

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And then probably when I got married to my wife and had two kids, that's

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when it started to turn on me and really things went really wrong for me.

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What happened?

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Well, when I got married, I, I was drinking heavily when I got married,

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but, There's a couple of things I'm not proud of, but one of them was that I

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was drinking alcoholically and I woke up at two or three in the morning,

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four o'clock and come downstairs to the kitchen to find some vodka.

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And I found it and I put it on the side.

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Of the kitchen counter for a second while I turned around and got a crystal glass.

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And as I did, my wife had quietly followed me downstairs and she snatched

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the bottle of vodka from the counter and she held it against the chest and

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she says, I think you've had enough now.

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She was probably right, because I've been drinking all the time when I was due to

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go to work in about four hours time.

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So what I should have said is, thank you Mrs.

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Kelly, and go back to bed.

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Unfortunately, what I did was took a kitchen knife out and stabbed her three

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times and she went to the floor bleeding.

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I got my bottle of vodka, finished it off, call a taxi call the police.

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And, the taxi rank was just literally around the corner.

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So he pulled up within a minute and I waited so that I could hear the sirens.

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I jumped in the taxi cab and I fled to Spain.

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And I staid in Spain Uh, for some time, until they promised and signed contracts,

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legal documents that I would not be charged with the attempted murder.

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it's pretty bad, but I wasn't the worst.

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It got worse than that.

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Got a lot worse than that when I lost my children and that was the most

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devastating devastation part of my life.

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But it happened, you know, after, after the stabbing incident, we

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lived in this beautiful house, very, very large `house, brand new cars

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you know, my business was thriving.

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And, when I came up from Spain, Literally on the day I flew back, I got a taxi back

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home and as I walked in to the door.

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She had, three suitcases packed and the children ready to go.

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And as I walked in to the door She said to me, he said, Rob, I love

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you to the day I die but you're not going to kill our kids.

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And then she left and I was so angry.

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I was screaming at her the children was there and it's

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probably ages one and three.

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Nick could hear this going on.

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So I in a drunken rage call my attorneyand and threatened him if he

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didn't get my kids back within 24 hours.

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That I wasn't going to do any business with him.

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And we did a lot of money with this guy.

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So he went to court and somehow the next day he turned up with my children.

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He got some sort of court order worked in my favor and I got my children back.

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So I remember taking them into the living room.

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I give this guy, a big check for doing what he did and I bought

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into the living room and I was so proud that I could be dad.

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Right.

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Cause I knew nobody was taking him them of me.

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That was it.

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You don't do that to me, cause I will retaliate.

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And what happened was I sat in front of the TV, went into the

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kitchen and I thought, wouldn't it be great if I just had one drink to

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celebrate the children coming back.

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And then three days later, The police bust the door down.

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I had no idea between them three days, I'd been drinking solidly.

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My children had not been fed or, or changed diapers for two days.

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And, they served unfit father papers and neglect and all

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that stuff it had in there.

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And then they grabbed my two children.

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And mom got a three-year-old old and they start to walk down the path and everybody

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was crying and it was a sad state.

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And my daughter said three things to me, she said, daddy, daddy, please don't go.

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And she walked further down the park she turned around again, and she

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says, daddy, daddy, please get better.

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And as she got to the gate and opened the gates she turned around

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one more final time and she says, daddy, daddy, please stop drinking.

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And I couldn't do it.

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I just couldn't do it.

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I went back in the house.

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I open another bottle of vodka.

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I remember roundabout three, four.

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I don't know how long it was.

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Maybe two, three months later I was homeless.

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The house had gone.

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The cars had gone, my kids had gone, the wife had gone, the license

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have gone the business closed down.

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I went from that house to my mom's house.

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Lasted three days at my mom's house.

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She threw me out because of my drinking.

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Went to friends from friends and acquaintances and from acquaintances,

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living on the streets, slept in a bus shelter the first night that

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my, my acquaintance threw me out.

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and then I went to the middle of Manchester is like a garden

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then they'll benches and us.

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I stayed there for 14.

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Nobody would speak to me.

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Nobody.

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When I called home, he put the phone down on me, so it was abandoned on the streets.

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And, and then my first night thinking, what the hell just happened?

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Why did all that go wrong?

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Because I'm the guy that played the Abbey road.

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I'm the guy, that's friends with Elton John, Bowie, Queen, all them guys.

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You know, I remember that, at Elton John's house once with a couple of

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other famous guys and we laughed and we looked at each other and Elton said,

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where did, where did we all go wrong?

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And it was kind of funny cause they were all rich.

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but I had that thought again when I was on the streets

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because I didn't have anything.

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I had no.

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nothing to my name.

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I had to beg for alcohol.

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And when I couldn't, I couldn't beg for money to get alcohol,

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then I'd go and steal it.

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So I got arrested a few times and just drunk and disorderly, and, you

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know, vagrants and stuff like that.

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I got picked up.

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So yeah, it was, it wasn't, it wasn't good.

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And, and the way I survived back then was I went down.

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I would beat people up after nightclubs to get money.

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I'd rubbed the wallets.

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And I'd do anything for alcohol.

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My life was a 14 month alcohol binge.

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I never came out of and suicide attempts, six suicide attempts

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on two occasions as succeeded.

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And they, the EMT has brought me back to life again, which I was really annoyed

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about, because it wasn't a cry for help.

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I wanted to kill myself.

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I couldn't live anymore.

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And, yeah.

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Life was pretty bad then.

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Wow, I'm lost for words

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I know many, many people wow when they see me, a lot of people

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heard of me, obviously, not a lot of people know who I am.

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When you sit down.

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I did a, I did a charity thing the other day for veterans and first responders.

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And I tell my story in the room is shocked because I look at what I do

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today, you know, and how famous I am if famous is a word, I don't know,

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but how recognized I am with my TV and my books and all that stuff I do.

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But when you sit down and tell them the story, everyone's reaction is like yours,

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but silence it's like the first time it happened, I'm like, you guys scare anybody

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or people are just like, oh my God.

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You know?

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And it's just crazy, crazy.

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Well, so yeah.

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What was it?

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What was the main premise of your addiction?

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Because you said that, you know, your uncle gave you a

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sip of beer when you were nine.

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So it was more like a, just for pleasure, like just, it gave you confidence.

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It wasn't to deal with any, any issues.

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Right.

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was that the main reason why you kept going, because it was helping you with the

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confidence, or what was the trigger for you later on and why did you keep going?

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Well, what happens is since I came up the street for the

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last, I dunno, how many years?

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20 - 30, I've been studying the alcoholic brain and the addicted

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brain and alcoholism as a whole and become a specialist at it.

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Neuroplasticity and neuroscience is what I studied today.

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So going back, I was born an alcoholic.

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So alcoholics are born.

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You can't drink enough alcohol to make you an alcoholic.

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You may abuse alcohol, but an alcoholic is not somebody who drinks too much alcohol.

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And people are amazed by that.

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So I'm born this way.

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It's a predisposition passed down from my parents, might skip a gen.

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It skipped my generation with my brother.

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Didn't touch him at all, but me.

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I got it.

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So the first time I saw Al my body, it was only a matter of

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time before it all went wrong.

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So alcohol worked for a long time.

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A real long time and gave me so much confidence.

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I was like 15, 16 when I went for the job at Abbey road and

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people are laughing at me.

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It's like this kid walks in with this huge guitar and you have all

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these veteran bass players waiting to audition for this perceived position.

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And I don't give a shit.

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I was like half drunk, walked in, cocky, sat down and got my guitar.

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I played with the stuff they told me to play and then manuscripts and

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then just, just left and went home.

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And I did that seven times and finally got the job.

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You know, so alcohol really was working for me a lot of times through college and

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then, you know, I'd mixed with cocaine and Speed, Amphetamin and, yeah, I, I

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tried coming off alcohol for a month.

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I'd use amphetamines and cocaine, and then it makes you have a drug problem.

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So I went back to alcohol for a few years and it just bounced back.

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So I'm, I was, I was hooked from the first.

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So it's really interesting how the brain works because, because we're born this

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way, our brain is, well, my brain is allergic to the ethanol and alcohol,

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you know, whereas drug addicts, they have to take certain amounts of drugs.

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They like.

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Then they become addicted to it and the addiction and alcoholism show up

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the same, but it's not quite the same.

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So a little tiny difference.

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It doesn't mean treatment differs or 12 step groups, doesn't differ.

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That's not talking about that.

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I'm talking about the precise change with the, with the ethanol and the, my brain

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being rematched, especially from trauma.

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Every alcoholic has trauma period.

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Not even going to argue with anybody about that six and a half thousand patients

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down the line, I can categorically say that every alcoholic has trauma.

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So the trauma mixed with mind disposition that's been passed on to me.

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I'd never stood a chance.

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It was always going to end up homeless, always or jail for life.

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How I didn't kill anybody.

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I don't know.

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I battered people, I stabbed people.

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You know when I was on the streets just to survive.

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So, you know, I could have quite easily ended up in.

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prison for the rest of my life.

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In fact, there was one crazy time when I was actually thinking of killing

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somebody, because I had nowhere to go they put me in jail first and I laugh.

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They Lisa's got some food every day.

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I mean, the thoughts of the crazy thoughts that went through your head,

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what that, that 14 months is just crazy.

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You watch a life going on around you and you just start and people

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walk over you and spits at you.

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And you know, when you ask for money, they're nasty to you.

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I mean, it's just horrible.

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I kept saying, gee, how do you know, do you know who I am?

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And I get with all these drugs and homeless people and go, Hey, you know, I'm

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a doctor and they would laugh like crazy.

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They would laugh like crazy.

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It's not how I'm trying to be doctor.

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So, you know, . I'm going to, I'm going to go down.

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I'm going to do this, that, and they laughed and laughed.

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and then when I told them I play with it while he's famous, , they laughed and

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laughed because of course it wasn't true.

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As far as they're concerned, I was just another bum on the streets, but had

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done all of a sudden amazing things, but alcoholism still took it away.

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Let's let's start it on a positive here a little bit, because this is all very

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dark and gloomy and, very shocking.

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when I was preparing for this interview, I know you send me a bio and, and

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about what you do now, and you've kind of hinted on what, what your past was

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but I had no idea how, how bad it was.

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So, I definitely want to talk to you about how did you get through all

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that, but, before we get to that,

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I'm also curious, what was that job like in, in Abbey road?

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I loved it.

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I passed the audition and, you know, I'd play maybe four times a week.

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So in case people don't know the way session musicians work is usually

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you're stepping in for a bass player, guitar player, whatever mine was bass.

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So you step in for a bass player when he was sick or ill or

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what tends to happen in those.

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Is the band would be would be given like, I don't know, half a million

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dollars to produce the first single or album they'd go out and do that.

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It Hits the charts.

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They would get the first paycheck.

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Now when it comes to making the second album, you know,

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Johnny was drunk all the time.

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Billy's overdosed on heroin.

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So they would bring session, players into lay the tracks now.

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So I would go in many times, I wouldn't see whose song it was, but I remember,

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you know, when, when, when, Freddie Mercury came in, and we did some tracks

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together and you never know what it is.

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You just do your tracking piece.

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They'll give you music, your bass part, and you just play it.

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but we, we spent, we spent many early morning times drinking coffee and talking

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about life It was absolutely phenomenal, but most of the time I'm drunk or wasted,

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so I didn't really appreciate it, back then, but it was a prestigious job.

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I never thought of it like that, I just thought it was another

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job, anybody can do this.

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I didn't appreciate because I don't think it did when you, when you, when you're a

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kid, you know, when you're under 21, it's just like, things were meant to happen.

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You go through them, you don't appreciate them until they get older.

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You go, wow.

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So.

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annoying person would be Elton John when he gets in his moods.

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The most amazing person would be, Freddie is one of the most

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amazing persons I've ever seen.

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and yeah, it was just amazing.

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I was going to college as well.

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The money from that put me through college because no one in our

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family had gone to college before.

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So I was the first.

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I went to Oxford, you know, it an, all this money.

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I joined the Freemasons an early age because they need an organist and it's

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like, all my life was going amazing.

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But yeah, it was good.

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And everything, since that, there's been a lot of ups and downs, but most of the

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time my life has took off like crazy.

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No matter what I send my hand to usually it works.

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That would have been amazing with all these musicians.

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Imagine, imagine where you could have been if, you know,

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if you didn't end up on street.

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If you didn't.

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Yeah.

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If, if what happened, didn't happen.

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But if, if we've right, well, let's not worry about that.

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Let's talk about future and let's talk about how did

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you, how did you overcome it?

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How did you turn your, turn your life around?

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Well, I'm on the streets after the 13 months is pouring down with rain and just

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coming out of an alcoholic binge, but I don't have any alcohol it's past midnight.

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it's around two, three o'clock in the morning.

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And I strolled across the backend of Manchester, United Kingdom and the

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people at where nobody goes, it's just a dark road with cobblestones on.

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And I dropped to my hands and knees and I started crying, you know,

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like a baby from my stomach pain.

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And my stomach was horrible.

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I remember looking into this.

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I'm never a religious person, but I just said, if there's a God up there,

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can't do this on my own anymore.

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And about 30 seconds later, a guy walked around the corner, he'd miss

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his last bus home from a Bible study.

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And he bumped into me.

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He said, can I help you?

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And I said, yeah, I'm dying.

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And he took me back to his house.

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He happened to be an alcoholic and he took me back and he said,

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Hey, I've been where you are.

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You can stay there for as long as you are.

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Well, just want to get you well and help you.

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And that's where I'm at.

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My journey started.

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To where I am today.

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Just like everything was meant to be like, you know, I got in that house.

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And then after I met this other guy in a 12 step room and he said he would

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take me through some programs and this great book, to educate myself.

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And he told me that I need never drink again.

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And my life could be amazing sort of clung onto this guy.

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And we went through the stuff and.

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He said your life's going to change from now on your life's going to change after I

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went there for about eight weeks, I think every Wednesday night and sure enough,

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after I finished with them, I got a part-time job turned into a full-time job.

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Then somebody at the place gave me a car and then car, it wasn't amazing,

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but it was enough to get me to work.

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And back then I moved into a a really nice, it was like sober house.

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And then from there I got an apartment and, just started

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building and building and then.

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I'm speaking to this girl, you know, early kind of internet chat rooms.

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And, we started talking and she was in Dallas, Texas, which I

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thought was really glamorous.

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Cause I'd seen the Dallas TV program years ago, so we're chatting away and, and then

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she just said, Hey, my local church, you know, there's a big crack cocaine problem.

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Would you ever think of coming over for like four days and doing some seminars?

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I said, yeah, I'd love to.

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So she arranged that.

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So they got, we got the date and everything, and I

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had the tickets have ready.

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And about a week before I was about to come and stay packing my stuff slowly

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but surely as I washed it, I packed it.

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I got my, passport out on an expired by about five, six

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days I was like, holy gold.

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No.

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So I didn't call her cause I was panicked and embarrassed.

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So I got down to Liverpool, which is 35 mile drive and I took it to the

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passport office and he looked at it and he said, do you want to expediting?

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So I was saying, yeah, I need it in like six days.

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And he said, oh, no, expedites in is about four weeks.

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It's normally 12 weeks, but we can get it through fast in four weeks.

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So I just, I didn't know what to do.

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So I just said, okay, I'll pay the money and that's it.

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And I went back home and I was supposed to fly on a Saturday

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and this was like the Tuesday.

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And I was so scared of calling her or getting on the chat room

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with her to say, I couldn't come.

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And then the day before I was supposed to fly.

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So the Friday, there was a knock at the door and my passport arrived.

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So when I locked back, all them things started to happen to me.

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And I came over here for two or three, four days only.

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And when I put my foot down on American soil at Dallas international airport,

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DFW, I knew I was never going to go home.

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And that's what happened.

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They got all my licenses stopped over to America and we started a practice in

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Dallas, Texas, and never looked back.

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And that was about 14 years ago.

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But when she reached out to you, you were already doing this type of stuff

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or was it just kind of as a result of her talking to you and you talking to

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her about how you've overcome addiction?

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I was kind of already doing it, but not full time.

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I was only doing a part-time basis, had another job to pay the real bills.

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But yeah, our story was, she was married to an alcoholic before the divorce.

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So that's how the conversation started.

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But, you know, I did have a little bit of a reputation, nothing like it is

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now, but it was just, I guess it was some sort of calling or something I

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was on, but you know, best thing I ever did, if it wasn't from speaking to that

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lady, Um I would never be here cause I never dream of coming over to America.

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I'd never been to America.

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The furthest I'd been from our country, England was Spain and

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that's like an hour and a half away.

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I wouldn't even dream of traveling 12.

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It used to be 12 hours all them years ago.

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Now they do it in nine, I think, but I wouldn't even

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dream of doing that, but I did.

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And I'm here.

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So.

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You were saying, like you wanted to, you wanted to do something about the

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alcoholism and about the drug addiction problem and you kept cycling through

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when it was too much drug addiction, you went back to alcoholism and, and,

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obviously it sounded like you kind of wanted to do something about it, but,

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but in a way it was, it sounds like it was also thankfully due to the,

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the, the series of events that have.

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Meeting meeting that is that priest meeting that guy on a street.

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Let's call him a priest.

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I'm not sure if he was a priest, but let's call him priest.

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and then, and then she to that girl in Dallas and then that sort of opened

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up the door for what you do now.

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I'm sure there'll be a lot of listeners right now.

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That might be, you know, where you were before, perhaps, you know, thinking

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about this as, you know, like, it sounds like you kind of got lucky, you know,

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Well, I guess some breaks will be good, but I've, I've, also studied, a little bit

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of quantum physics, you know, due to the alcoholic brain and I can categorically

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stand and say to you that if you want something bad enough, it happens.

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So whatever you can visualize in your mind, you can hold in your hand.

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That's a guaranteed fact, but people then dream that they don't even think that,

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oh, I want to say to people, if you, if you're sat at home and you're thinking.

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You're a piece of crap or you're never going to amount to anything,

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or this is your lot in life.

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I want to apologize to you because somebody put that there.

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We're not born this way.

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We're born with million dollar minds yet.

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We tend to hang around 10 cent mines.

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It's like, if you want it bad enough, you'll get it.

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If you want information about recovery, you'll get it.

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If you want to earn $60,000 a year, and you're only earning 20

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right now, start hanging around the guys that earned 60 grand a year.

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All these things, quantum physics and.

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And the way the world is in the universe, it all works in a certain way.

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And to crack that code, it's just amazing.

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I mean, I've worked with six and a half thousand people since doing this job.

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And most of them that I know have gone on to lead an amazing life because you

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know, whether you believe in God or the universe or something, something that is

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looking out after each and every one of us, it's got nothing to do with religion.

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You know, it's a spiritual path, but if you, if you realize that and then

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start acting like we should, you know, being kind to another human

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band, always help when you can, always say kind words, do work on yourself,

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especially your childhood trauma.

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And when you get through the, all that things start to happen really quick,

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because that's what happened to me.

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The guy, I finally went through the work with who I walked to see every

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Wednesday evening for eight weeks.

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When I, when I finally finished with him.

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About one or two weeks after that, I got my first paycheck.

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I got a little Teddy bear and a card and I walked back to that man's house.

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Like I've been doing for eight weeks.

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And when I got back, there was nobody.

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And I bang that door on the apartment and the next next lady come out and the next,

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next door to me, he says, can I help you?

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I said, can you tell me where John relocated to?

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And she said, there's been known in an apartment for at least six months.

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I've been here.

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So we're onto the other side and not at this guy, what sort of door?

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And I said, Hey, got a loony tunes next door.

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She doesn't remember.

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I came here for about eight weeks.

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Do you remember.

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And he said, John, there's been no one, that name living here.

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I know that apartment has been empty for at least a year

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and I could never trace him.

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You see, I wanted it bad enough.

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And whoever is looking after me, I call it God looking after me sent

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me the right people when I wanted

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but if you're happy sitting at home, not doing anything with your life and

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struggling for money and stuff like that, you're never going to get any help.

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No one's going to come to the door and knock on your door and go,

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Hey, there's a hundred thousand dollar job that you can have.

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You have to go out and seek it.

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And everybody is capable of seeking it.

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You see, there's no difference between me on the streets and, and, and me

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now, the only difference is the guy on the street wanted this badly.

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You look up around your city, , you see these big CEOs earning million dollars

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a year, the only difference between you and him is he wants it better than you.

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It's got nothing to do with education.

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Colleges is not a college degree, does not get you a hundred

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grand a year job these days.

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. You know, I know people with doctorates, you know, and masters that are working

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at Kentucky fried chicken, and McDonald's I mean, it's how bad you want it.

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The world is at our fingertips right now, especially with everyone's online.

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Especially through COVID, you know, this is the time to shine.

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This is the time when you can turn your computer into a million dollar business.

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Instead of saying, I want to build a company, why don't you start saying to

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yourself, I want to build an empire.

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Because that's where the thought patterns comes and then neuro pathways will

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be firing, ready to go because most alcoholics are born with self-sabotage

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in neural pathways, which means I could go for a week, a month, sometimes even a

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year building up this business and making this brand outlook for each feature.

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And then I go on a series of, of sprees and drunken episodes

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and, and ruin everything.

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You know, the most self care neuro pathways we have in our brain, the better

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chance we stand of becoming a success.

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And then of course, Vit you've got to look at what is success?

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Is success working a nine to five job looking at my family?

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Yes.

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Is success getting my children back for the weekend of my wife?

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Yes.

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All these little journeys and all these little wins that we have, you must take

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advantage of them and realize there's always somebody worse off than you.

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When I was on the streets, there was people worse off than me.

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I saw people on the streets.

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Who couldn't walk.

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They would be wheelchaired.

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I saw surgeons on the street.

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. Because of alcohol, like real, real heart surgeons, you know?

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And, you know, they, they, they just lost everything because of alcohol.

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But if you want it bad enough, it'll come.

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That's how the universe works.

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It's like, if you convince yourself like internal dialogue

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is very important for success.

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If I drop a pen on the floor, I used to say, oh what a stupid idiot.

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Stop saying that because your brain, the subconscious brain will take that.

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Just like your parents said, stop doing that.

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You'll never be clever enough.

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No, you can't go to college Robb.

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You're not as clever as your brother.

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You know, all this stuff that we take in as teenagers, we tend

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to carry on through adult life.

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I've dropped a pen on the floor.

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I'm not a stupid idiot.

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. I've just dropped a pen on the.

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my head am I so concentrating?

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We'll take the end.

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And now we go with new neural pathways, healthy ones.

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So when the rubber hits the road and I want to self-sabotage, there are

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more healthy neuro-pathways and there are billions, the neuros of sabotage,

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and that's one of the keys to success.

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You can have anything you want.

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Don't let anybody tell you any different.

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I came from the project from the counselors.

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I was the, I was the kid that waved the school bus off.

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Cause they were going on a camping trip, four miles away at the local park.

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But my mom and dad couldn't afford to pay for me to go.

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Trauma PTSD from that.

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I am that guy and look at me today and I'm actually waving a flag

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for anybody who's been left behind anybody that that's a trauma as a kid,

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anybody is living on the poverty line.

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That's not the way you do it guys, come on.

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We all know we can do this.

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It's easy.

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Once you get in mind, just find out, find out the why and how will come by.

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Not the why.

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What's your, why?

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My, why is I want it to spread the news of addiction and

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alcoholism and joy to everybody that I meet and it came America.

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Here we go.

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Boom.

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The last program I was on went to 18 million people.

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That's a big platform.

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And that's what I, that's why I want to, when I came and I surround

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myself by the right people, when I first came to America, I had a couple

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of friends that weren't any good, but I didn't know any different.

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And I said to them, well, I want to, I want to, I was thinking of writing a book.

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And they were like, there's no way, I'm sorry, but there's no

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way you're not going to do it.

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So I left it for a few years, but when it comes to San Antonio six,

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I don't know how long ago it was.

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I surround myself with a bunch of guys and I said, one day, you know,

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we're all drinking coffee, thinking of writing a book and their reply was, wow.

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We thought you'd already wrote one.

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That's a great idea.

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So it's the people, you know, show me your friends, I'll show you a future

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That whole rewiring your brain.

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I'm a firm believer and it's, it's so great to hear it from you as well.

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Like just to strengthen that message because, it is absolutely true.

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It's it's it's the moment you, You refocus your thoughts to do

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something more positive, right?

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That's going to shift your actions.

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It's going to shift your circumstances, but it doesn't happen overnight, right?

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Like if you're talking about how you're wired, like how you're wired

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towards, let's say self-sabotage.

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That's literally like your neurons fire towards that.

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So that's what always triggers those thoughts.

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So if you want to change that, it's kinda like, I think I've said

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the analogy in the podcast before.

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I would say, think about it like a highway, right?

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As a, as a, as a highway and as, as, as a, as a thick traffic and

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you're stuck in that traffic.

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and you have to move along the same way, like the rest of the traffic.

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And that's kind of where you are now.

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In order to change that you kind of need to create a new path.

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She kind of have to break through the breakthrough to what do you

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call those things on the side of the road, those barriers barriers, right?

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I have to break through the barriers and imagine there's a thick Bush around

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those on either side of the road.

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So you cannot drive there the first time you're going to drive in, into that Bush.

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You know, you gotta, you're gonna have to like cut through some trees.

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and it's going to be hard.

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But behind you, you've already cleared a little bit of a path.

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So the next time you're going to go in there again, you're gonna

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clear up a little bit more of the path and then keep going.

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All right.

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Maybe you've got a machete.

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You can keep chopping the bushes and keep going forward.

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It clearing that path.

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And sooner than later, as you keep going further and further, like chipping

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away just a little bit by bit behind you, stuff starts to grow start to,

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you know, start to grow behind you.

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So it's going to be hotter and how to come back.

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That's kind of how I think about like pathways, like more, you

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stay focused on the positive.

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The other wires starts to disconnect.

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Yeah, we are.

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We have a way of pointing its repetition, strengthen and confirms.

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The more you do it, the easier you become it's like being a

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pilot or something like 50,000.

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I don't know how many hours are needed to fly a jumbo jet or something.

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Get the Alison, get the neuro-pathways flying.

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It's like, you gotta be careful what you seeand what you do.

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So if you're doing healthy neural pathways, if you're cutting off and

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going through the bush every single day than the path becomes normal.

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So even sometimes when you come on that freeway and it's not that busy, your

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normal path would be off to the side.

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Cause you know, that works it's quicker and it's safe.

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So the more we use it, the more, the more we get, but we have to

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watch what we see and what we have.

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I'll give you a quick example right now.

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It's like,

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if people are saying the wrong things around you, you're going to take that in.

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So if you hang around nine depressed people, you will become the number 10.

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You know, it's simple as that.

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So what I'll say to everybody listening now real quickly, is

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concentrate for a second and I'm going to ask you not to do something.

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Please do not do it.

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Whatever happens.

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Don't think of an elephant, damn it, all thought of an elephant.

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That's how that's how easy it is to convince someone

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that they're not any good.

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They're a waste of time and they'll never amount to anything.

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You only got to look at the past.

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The superstars I've passed away from one or two comments to go from the carpenters.

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Somebody says she was fun.

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Next minute she died of anorexia.

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You know, we've got to take in the good thing.

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Repetition strengthen and confirms.

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You have to realize how powerful you are.

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Every human being can be a powerful force and power to do amazing stuff,

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but it's what people tell us, you know, you never be any good, blah, blah, blah.

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And they don't really mean it.

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The abandonment, the shame, the guilt, the trauma that we carry

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as a child and parents don't mean to do it, but they do it.

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Everybody does.

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So when you get older, it's about going back and doing that work, getting back

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to the scene of the crime as we call it and make sure that you clear all that

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stuff up, you're clearly abandon it all.

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Where we live in a million dollar house.

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One patient said, I said, how often do you see your dad?

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Or just Sunday for an hour?

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Why always working all the time?

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That's abandonment, that's PTSD.

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You're going to carry for rest your life.

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And every single time, especially women, no relationships has ever worked.

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Because dad used to leave, all week apart from an hour.

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So it fucks with relationships, it involves our success.

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I met Arnold Schwarzenneger back in 1979, and He just released, an

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underground movie called Pumping Iron.

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And he was doing a little seminar in England and I was a

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semi-professional bodybuilder at the time.

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So.

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and a couple of others were chosen to go and pick them up from the airport and

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show him his hotel and just stay with him.

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Keep his company.

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I got into some serious talks with Arnold, even though his English were very broken.

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He came from the Grass in Austria, very broken, but he said three things

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to me that always stuck in my mind.

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And I said, what, what's the future for you Arnold?

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I mean, this bodybuilding is good, but it's not enough.

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You can't make any money out of it.

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And he says, I don't intend to , but I, one day I want to be the highest paid

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movie actor in the world, but we kind of smiled and embarrassed and thinking

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the guy can't even speak English.

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You know what?

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Nevermind movie star.

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Check.

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Then he said to us, I want to be a governor of a state,

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preferably California.

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We started laughing even more.

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Check.

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And then he said to us, the final thing that made us burst out laughing.

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He said he wanted to marry into the Kennedy family.

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Check.

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All these things that he did.

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He put his mind to.

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You have to realize how powerful we are as human beings and individuals.

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I remember him having a Ferrari once and he pulled up.

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I didn't, well, it wasn't within this story.

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I know to be true.

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He pulled up at a traffic lights and some kids pulled in a normal car wreck

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trying to race him, and as they sped off with squealing, it just took off

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at five miles an hour and carried on and he stayed his message from that

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was if you know how powerful you are, you don't have to prove it to anybody.

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Just to make things happen.

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You want to be rich, you know, it's like a basketball court quantum physics.

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I can be 25 places at the same time on that court.

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It's quantum physics.

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Okay.

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Well, where do I want to be, I want to be over near the goal.

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So when I got the ball, you're going to smack it in the goal.

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I'm going to be the head of the game.

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Can you see yourself there?

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My mental says.

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I says, yeah, I can see myself there.

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How do I get there though?

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And he's replying with dropped me down on my knees.

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He said, walk over and take the position Robb.

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I'm like what?

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You've already visualized it, walk over and take the position.

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And that's where many people go wrong because they visualize

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something that they oh, no.

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Wow.

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That's crazy.

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I can't do that.

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Why do you think Apple guys come from, a Google guys and Amazon guys?

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I have a picture of the Amazon guy in a tiny little office with

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a, with a canvas at the back of him sprayed on saying Amazon.

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Selling five bucks a week, but you had a dream in the end, a vision,

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and he believed in it, he believed.

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Netflix did the same, you know, everybody was selling videos and renting

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videos, they've tried to go and, you know, help work with blockbuster.

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Blockbuster said, no, you're too small.

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You can't do anything.

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Well, so many Netflix and I'll take you as a CEO said, screw you.

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We can do everything we want to do.

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And sooner or later the blockbusters go out with our business because of Netflix.

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It's all about knowing.

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It's all about belief.

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It's all about walking forward.

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And every single day making sure stuff happens and a Champion's way

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to do this is when you get up in the morning, write five things down

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that you're going to do that day.

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Even if it's breakfast, lunch, visit the dentist, go for that interview

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by wife, some flowers, put it down every morning and then five things

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cross off as you go through the day.

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And if you've completed five things, when you finished the day,

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you've moved forward to your dream.

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And if you've only done four of them, because you were too busy,

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then you've taken a step back.

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We don't , believe in this country, that's the problem.

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Take the brakes off your imagination, take them off because every

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single body can do what I've done.

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I'm not, I wish I could sit here Vit and tell you how special I am.

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And how amazing..

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, I'm nothing special.

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I just had a dream and a vision.

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This is great, what you just said, like I was, I was going to ask you about that.

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Like how can somebody, how can somebody that is in a really, really dark place

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What would be like the easiest first step?

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And so this is great.

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like focus on something super simple.

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Like even if it's like, I'm going to.

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Eat a breakfast today, I'm going to eat lunch and I'm going to eat dinner

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and I'm going to go for five minutes, walk something that is super low-key.

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Right.

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And by accomplishing those things, that's like that first step, Like, it's going

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to give you a a bit of a satisfaction, something like you can say, okay.

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I, I thought about doing it and I did it and I've accomplished it and I can, okay.

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If that's it, the brain, the brain takes as a success, you want to start the day

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off, great have succeeded in something?

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Make.

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laughter.

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My mentor told me Tom and I make that make him a better wife to make your bed Rob.

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And I did it and the brain looks at it as, as a win.

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You, you do four of them a day.

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All of a sudden you're winning every single thing you do.

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And once your imagination is fired.

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Ask for that job, go for that job.

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Ask for that girlfriend or that boyfriend ask for the house.

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There's no reason at all, why you can't do it.

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You just need to set your life out planning every single day.

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When you get up, make bed, lunch,dinner, walk, .Flowers, the next day, make

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bad go for a 10 mile run, you know, apply for that to get five things every

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single day in the morning, the night before, write them down and the brain

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will get used to success all the time.

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That's all it is.

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And, and the, and the more the subconscious brain loads, them, new

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neural pathways and ideas, when you come to self-sabotage, which is, oh my

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God, I've got an interview tomorrow.

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Oh my God.

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Oh my God.

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The brain's not going to do that.

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The brain is going to go, yeah, this is yours.

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This is yours.

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Walk in.

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We prep the highest paid actors and footballers.

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We work with them, a normal guy sweeping the road.

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We, we, we prep them for that.

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One of the guys we had, they knew, I took him to my private clinic in

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Texas I picked him up from jail.

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We did, there was a bunch of us, picked him up from jail and.

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The judge says, I'm gonna release it to you, Dr.

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Rob, but let me tell you categorically that if he goes missing, cause he

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always did, he will, he was a runner then, and this is a broken down actor

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who Hollywood had had enough of him.

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And we took him back to our ranch and we convinced him that within

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90 days, he was going to be the biggest movie star ever, ever.

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And we worked on him and we worked on him and everybody in the clinic worked

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on him, everytime he past looking great.

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Oh my God, you're amazing.

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Wow.

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Which everyone has.

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And he started to believe it.

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And he got more confidence in two weeks before he was due to leave.

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A big parcel came and the mail and the, and the chauffeur went

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down to the gate to pick it up.

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And he brought it up to the house and he said, Dr.

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Rob, there's the package for your guy?

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And I walked to him and i pass it to him, and he looked at this package

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and he looks at me and he opened it and he pulled it out and he went, oh

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my God, it's a script for Iron Man.

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And that the rest is history.

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That was a Robert Downey Junior?

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And the rest is history and that's how you do life.

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That's how we do life today.

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I've had a guy who always wanted to do, he wanted to be the forman , he

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wanted to be a manager of this road crew that went around sweeping roads.

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That was his ambition.

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And that's all he wanted to do.

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We prepped him for that.

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When the interview was time he walked in, he snatched that job.

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It already, he's already got it before he even walked in.

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He was so confident, not cocky, but confident that he would get this,

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that they almost didn't interview him.

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He walks in proud, he sat down, he looked him straight in the eye

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and he started off with about me.

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What do I do?

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What I'm about why do I want this job and how I could make you proud of the success?

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And within four or five minutes of him leaving, they called him

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up and said, you've got the job.

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This is what life's about.

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And people are scared.

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I can't do that Robbbb.

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Not me.

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I'm not that clever.

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I beg to differ million dollar mind going to college for four years.

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doesn't make you anything special you know,,, especially these days.

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If you want to know a complicated answer or riddle or math, Google it, Google it,

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all the answers are there,, you know, you can be the smartest man in the room.

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If you spend some time on Google and find out what stuffs.

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So the game has changed, guys.

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It really has changed.

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There's more unemployed PhDs than there are working PhDs.

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That's all I'm saying about that.

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So powerful, Rob, have you got anything for small business owners?

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you know, you keep hearing this, you know?

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Yeah.

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not now.

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Yeah.

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We can't afford you.

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And what would you say to that?

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What would be something that you've you've you've used like maybe a phrase or,

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yeah, well, I was a obviously small business owner.

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If, if, if not now, Guys, if not now, when I have to ask people,

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when I, when I go into companies, I

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what's your most valuable asset and they go, oh, our staff.

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Wrong!

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Most valuable asset is the customer, you know, one or two people working for you.

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It's unbelievable what we can create these days on your own, on the internet.

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Treat everybody nice, inspire, no matter if you have one customer or two, do

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the best you can every day with them.

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And, and, and it's like, it's like a, I don't know, it's

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like a smiling or laughing.

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It's contagious.

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And people would have mounted the best form of appetizer in this world ever.

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And now everybody's gone in doors.

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It's even better.

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You know, we reach more people, more people, our, our more the day, you know,

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it's just like, if you want to stay a small business owner, do it with pride,

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whether you're cleaning somebody's windows or whether you're, you know,

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educating somebody to work at the highest computer in the world, do it with pride.

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Do it, cause you want to.

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You know, I, I used to get up on a, on a, on a Sunday, especially Sunday night

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and go, oh my God, it's work tomorrow.

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If you're doing that guys, you're in the wrong job.

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I created a company that people get up on a Sunday, have a great day and Sunday

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night and think, oh my God, it's amazing.

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I've got work tomorrow.

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It's all about passion.

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Get passionate, have passion about whatever you do and have belief belief

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that you're going to be a success.

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Start living as if you're going to have success.

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The guys that come in Vit, broken down, I take him to the Porche

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dealerships and I let them drive round in 911 is worth $150,000.

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I'd take him to the million dollar listings and we walk around

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as if we're going to buy it.

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And the reason why I do that is he's already acting like a millionaire.

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So when he comes and it will.

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The brain doesn't freak out and go, oh my God, this, this expensive car,

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it gets in the car and his brain goes, oh yeah, I remember this.

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This is very comfortable.

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You know, so always think positive.

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Everybody has bad days.

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Well, I don't have bad days.

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I have a better day than others, but everyone has down days.

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Come on.

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This is not about you as a business owner.

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This is about your customers.

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This is how you can provide to a local community or nationwide a

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service with love, kindness, and care.

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And I tell you something now, if it doesn't work, call me, I'll give

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you a half a million or something.

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You know, it always works.

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It's proven, tried success route to go down in

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. Rob this whole interview.

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Amazing.

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Yeah.

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We've really turned it around didn't we?

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Yeah.

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It was very dark and gloomy, especially, I was shocked when he said that yeah.

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That you stop your wife and started to bring him back up.

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But that was, you know, I was, I was kind of like what the hell?

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Yeah.

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And the madness of what I went through.

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It was insanity is where I was.

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So, yeah, but there's always a good turn.

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See I had to go through that Vit to become the person I am today.

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All that, all that stuff that I went through, it was like a

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semester at Harvard, the knowledge, information, and gift that I have

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today for pass on to other people.

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That's what it's all about.

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Whether you're selling bananas.

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or you're selling corporate jets, it makes no difference

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how can I best serve the today.

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Tell us about what do you guys do now with your business and you

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know, some of your achievements.

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We're Rob Kelly Recovery Group or Rob Kelly Group, the website is robbkelly.com,

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which is R O B B two base spell the name of CBS Kelly, K E L L y.com.

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We have we that business and, we have, five offices around the world.

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We have Dallas, Texas.

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We have San Antonio, Texas.

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We have Manchester United Kingdom,

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we have Mallorca in Spain and we have Zurich in Switzerland

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that have five offices.

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We use most of all.

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Is, is honest and, and pro bono, depending on, you know, we have a 20% pro bono,

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things that we're always giving back.

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We spent over a hundred thousand dollars last year giving back into

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the communities around the country and sometimes around the world.

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We've, we've, we've oftene when you're working with, you know, young

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moms whose father has left because alcoholics or alcoholic dads, you

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want the kids back for the weekend.

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You know, we will give them money.

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We will buy them, you know, a little car we will pay the first

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six months rent in that apartment.

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We just help people and give back on a daily basis.

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There's always a request coming in for people that are really in a bad, bad

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state, because that's what we do you know, we do a lot of other charitable.

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I did a charity thing two or three nights ago.

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I did it for a war veterans, EMTs and police officers.

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And it was a PTSD talk.

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So we do lots of talks, lots of training.

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we run a recovery coach course as well, four times a year.

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It's a 10 weeks, a hundred hours . We do that as well.

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But yeah, we just do a lot of radio, a lot TV as you know, And,

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thinking of writing my second book.

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And funny enough, if you, the book by the way is on Amazon and in Walmart,

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and every single dime or penny, goes straight back into the community.

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We take no profits off it, all everything goes back in to the communities and

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we thought we'd name it, the last thing my daughter said to me, which was

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'Daddy, daddy, please stop drinking'.

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So that's the name of the book, but just to cap everything, just

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to prove to everybody that things can be turned around is my youngest

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daughter all these years on.

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I've never got in contact with me, but three years ago, four years

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ago, my oldest daughter contact me on Facebook through messenger.

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And she says, dad, I've just seen you on TV.

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You know, I want to, I want to meet you, because I'm not

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seeing it since she was three.

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so I flew over to England and we had a great meeting at the front door.

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And then she took me into her apartment and she introduced me to

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my three month old granddaughter.

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And my heart was absolutely broken.

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It was just beautiful, beautiful love.

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And then after conversations had been there for a few days, she

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said, I want to do what you do, dad.

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I want to become a.

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Neuro linguistic programmer.

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and there's a course and I'll become a therapist.

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So I paid for it to go through the course.

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And six months ago she opened my Manchester office.

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So now she works for dad and dad's no longer a drunk and a bum

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Congratulations to that.

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That's incredible,

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Rob.

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Let's wrap this up.

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This was amazing.

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So what would be top three biggest takeaways.

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You'd like our listeners to walk away with after listening today,

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Believe in yourself, a hundred percent.

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love others always, love others, even if they do wrong, and be true to yourself.

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That's it?

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Rob, thank you so much for jumping on this interview.

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I know you're a busy guy, so I appreciate you sharing the story.

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and I really hope that's my biggest wish is that we've right now in someone's

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ears, listening to this help make an impact and maybe plan the seed towards.

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whether it's recovery from addiction to alcohol, drugs or

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recovery from depression, whatever recovery, I hope that we've made

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it a positive impact on somebody's.

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it doesn't.

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It doesn't have to always get as bad for you to realize that you

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need to shift your things around.

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You know, Rob stories is incredible.

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Yeah.

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kind of, yeah, that's kind of what I, all I have So, thank you once again.

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Thank you for jumping on the show.

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and thank you guys for listening.

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Thank you guys for listening to today's episode on the Success Inspired Podcast.

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Now, if you've enjoyed this interview and you found it impactful and you feel

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like this could help somebody else by listening to this and please, please share

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it with your mates, sharing your socials.

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all the links are on the, on the page, you know, share it with

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anybody that you think that would would benefit from listening, okay.

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So for any show notes and the links, I'm going to put Rob's link.

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So if any of you out there that's like need help.

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you know, he's he's clinics around the world.

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Zurich, Manchester, Mallorca, and then two in Texas.

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You can reach out to him for help and you don't have to live there.

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You know, I'm pretty sure the rope has stuff that he does online.

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You know, it's, I'd be surprised if he doesn't have that stuff, right?

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Yeah, absolutely.

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So, so for any show notes, some of the links in the extra tips, anything like

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that to help you accomplish more in life and realize your true potential,

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please go to successinspiredpodcast.com and Rob's website is robbkelly.com.

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It's R O B BK e double L y.com.

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so thank you and have a great rest of your day, everybody

About the Podcast

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Success Inspired
Business and personal development oriented Podcast that can help you accomplish more in life and realise your true potential.

About your host

Profile picture for Vit Muller

Vit Muller

Hi my name is Vit Muller, I'm a dynamic, innovative and results-oriented management professional with expertise in the fitness industry. Specialty skills include facilities management, member acquisition and retention, marketing and sales incorporating a strong growth mindset

I regularly meet fitness business owners who are struggling with the juggling act of keeping their businesses operational and are unable to grow it successfully and fast enough to live the life they deserve. Instead of looking at the bigger picture and developing their business strategically and with the right systems in place, they are often the operators within, the ones who provide end services for their members. As a result they are tired overworked and can't seem to get the ends meet.

I have a proven experience in launching new fitness facilities and re-designing existing businesses. Including business process design and the implementation of effective business systems, sales funnels, automation processes and standard operating procedures.